Wednesday, June 22, 2016

the joys of internet dating

This may not necessarily be about the joys found in the day, but it is about the day.  Read this from All Over the Map a few years ago, and this passage sums up the past couple of weeks: online; there's no context for the person you're meeting in cyberspace, no longtime friend to assure you that he's a nice guy, not a psycho.  The process is much more emotionally fraught and time-consuming than it would seem, just browsing a Man Catalogue, clicking on the witty architect who loves skiing and Italo Calvino, and having him delivered right to my door.
I already know from numerous attempts that I'm not very good at meeting strangers on blind dates.  It's even worse than being in a small group and going around in a circle explaining what you want from the experience.  You show up for a simple glass of wine, and for the next hour a guy evaluates all the ways in which you don't measure up to his ideal female.  You walk in thinking that your various quirks and attributes~pug nose, edgy humour, smile lines, healthy ass~are all part of a package that makes you irresistibly loveable.  You walk out, just one drink later, with a magnified awareness of your many defects.  Eventually it all gets to be pretty defensive, not a great forum for showing what a giving, sweet woman you are.  You arrive at the appointed time having not bothered to brush your hair, and right off, your attitude is, You want to have a drink with me?  Well, fuck you.
There has to be a better way to find a partner, but I have no idea what it is.  I suspect it's not going to be a simple numbers game, a matter of sifting through enough online profiles....     ~Laura Fraser


  1. I think you're doing all the right things - thinking of and working on making yourself happy, and getting out of the house. The rest? Will come. Somehow. Just not from online that online doofus dude, though...

  2. Thanks. Most days, I'm okay. But others! Just about do my head in. Staying busy with making sure that i'm living a good life~no matter what my social status.